Yesterday night, at the dinner table, I asked my father all of a sudden, when he was my age (early 20’s), what he had wished to do with his life. We all grow and cherish an aim, a wish or a dream for our life in our youth, which basically starts from our very childhood. My dad, who is a teacher now, with a little smile, replied that he is now happy to see his family happy. This is what matters the most in his life!
-‘ Yet you had a wish, like other people, what was it? Did you want to be a teacher? Did you want to be in the same place where you are now?’
– “I can’t exactly remember. Sometimes I feel like I got more than I wanted. You see, it’s all about satisfaction. If you don’t know where to stop and say ‘I have had enough you’ll never be able to be happy!”
I nodded. Since past few days, I have been thinking about my life goals, and the pros and cons of my steps ahead. I have literally no idea of where my life is going. But when my father told me that he can’t even remember what he was like at my age, I wonder if that won’t happen to me too!
It could be a lot sad and depressing for dad if he knew that he didn’t end up being what he wanted. He would have got drowned in the river of depression by now. But he put himself together with the presents of life. Or maybe, it is just gratitude. I guess this is one of the things that keep us alive when we have our back against the wall!
I was wondering one more thing- did I just remind him of the last thing he ever wants to think about? He is successful in his career, he has a family, and he tells himself that he is happy, no matter what he wanted earlier in life. He made a bubble of happiness and lives in it, keeping all his failures and sadness outside. Did I just pin my nail in it?
We worry about a lot of things in life. We rush into things so easily and get out forgetting what we wanted in the first place. None of us is perfectly happy, we can not even expect that. Yet nobody can live in his stories of failures either.
Today, I decided to make my bubble. Not now, maybe the day when I will have nothing to rush after. It is peaceful, a practice of gratitude, to have a shield to fight the sorrows which itself is made with sorrows. Some people live in reality, other people live in a bubble of happiness!
samha's table 